The US participation in the Vietnam War and the protest that ensued, divided our nation.
As we compare then and now in the lives of the boomer generation, the US involvement in the Vietnam was significant.
Vietnam war polarized our citizens. Men questioned their allegiance to the country, many chose conscious objection status and some moved to Canada. Little data exists about female veterans. An estimated 11,000 women were stationed in Nam, nearly all volunteers and 90% served as nurses the balance is variety of positions.
Vietnam war battle over the spread of communism lasted 20 years, about 1955 – 1975. An estimated 1,353,000 deaths occurred.
Did you know 2,700,000 Americans served in Nam, about 58,000 died? When the war was finally over, there is irrefutable evidence of the disrespect veterans experienced upon their return home, lasting psychological trauma, and health effects from Agent Orange.
I can’t adequately describe the many hardships, problems, the climate, difficult terrain and wildlife the heroic men endured while that fighting this war for their country.
This is my hardest blog to write so far. As I research my facts for posts, one question leads to the next. For example – discovering how many participated in Nam got me thinking about all conflicts since recorded time.
While the war protests are part of our generation, there still exists a much bigger issue – WHY are we still using war as the way to solve conflict. During the past 3,400 years, in only 268 of them has the world been entirely at peace, 8 % of recorded history.
An estimated 341.7 million people have been killed in these wars. To what end – has there ever been a successful war? (Most facts come from history.com)
Considering these 8 causes for war, it is hard to envision a world of peace:
-1- economic gain
-2- territorial gain
-3- religion
-4- nationalism
-5- revenge
-6- civil unrest
-7- révolution
-8- defensive / preemptive war
When will war end? Is there something we can do as a single person, as a group, as a nation to prevent war and adopt non-violent solutions to solve the above causes for war?
Beginning in the 50’s and 60’s, there was a huge difference between traditional family life and how life was portrayed on some TV shows. Three in particular are: The Donna Reed show, Father Knows Best, and Ozzie and Harriet. These shows were inaccurate and unrealistic story of how most families lived.
Considering what was available on one of three TV networks, it was no surprise that boomer women were chose a different attitude about marrying and raising a family. Three big changes happened during the 1970’s.
First, baby boomers married later, waited longer to have children, had fewer kids. Many chose to have no children. Because of the pill, women had more control of reproductive choices.
For those that had kids, like all generations before us we wanted more and better things for them.
Lead by advice from Dr. Spook and others we changed how we would raise children. We looked at the child as a whole being. We wanted more emotional security for them as well. The happiness of children became front and center. We began to understand the psychology of parenting.
Second, more women were working full time outside of the home yet our roles as homemaker and housewife were slower to evolve. We were still responsible for many home tasks.
Eventually with a commitment to our careers, we wanted our spouses to participate more in child rearing.
Baby boomer dads became more involved in their children’s lives. Even though this was a new role for men, this became a gift in some regards. Fathers became closer to the children.
Third, these new family dynamics created inevitable strains on both men and women in their relationships. As women were earning money of their own, they became more empowered. It was possible to get a divorce if we wanted to.
Marriages fell apart under unprecedented challenges. By 1975 the number passed 1,000,000 mark, twice as many divorces as the previous decade. Boomers couldn’t make the marriages work the same way as our parents. But maybe we were happier in some regards.
An obvious consequence of divorce was the impact on the lives of children. Kids needed to learn to deal with the world at an earlier age.
For those born in the 1980’s – there were freedoms – with both parents working kids, could roam freely with a bit of money in their pockets. They were entertained by video games and the Walkman. Television became more realistic. And finally doting grandparents who were happy to indulge them and become the guidance for the grandchildren that their parents didn’t want.
What is the result of this change in lifestyle from the 1970’s for today?
1 in 3 boomers are unmarried and without children. This doesn’t fare well for support and companionship that is so helpful in “old age”.
The need for community and an alternative paradigm for aging is more important than ever.
Exploring new options for aging is the goal of “Bay Area is Booming” – a social and educational community launching this winter in Northern California. Currently there are monthly live events with relevant topics addressing needs in our area.
A website coming soon is available for all. We will start with video stories. If you love talking and have good advice for life, please contact me to see if we are a good fit. I would love to see a short 2-3 minutes selfie.
We looked so good!There are so many instances of inequity for women in the work force. This is a follow up post to women’s long struggle for equality. Overall, my point is we have to keep speaking out and demanding rights which are legally ours.
Here are just a few comparisons from the 1970’s until now.
The number of working women has increased dramatically – from 30.3 mil in 1970 to 72.7 mil during 2006-2010.
Women made up 37.97% of the work force in 1970 compared to 47.21%, between 2006-2010.
Occupation options: 1970 women mainly worked as secretaries, bookkeepers, nurses and elementary school teachers. How great for us between 2006-2010 we could proudly add admin assistants, cashiers and middle school teachers to the most common choices. But good news we are also dominating in the fields of HR managers, social workers, dental assistants and speech pathologists.
Overall, discrepancies in wages and this occupation segregation continues to be the reality. The most recent numbers show that on average, women earn $0.77 for every dollar earned by men. This may not be true for all women and certainly would depend on sectors and occupations.
Norma Carr-Ruffino, retired Professor SF State University, asks why are we having the same conversation in 2013 that we had back in the 1970’s.
“ She noted one aspect of this conversation is that women also must face the work-life balance. We won’t stop having this conversation until our cultural understanding of the role of mothers and fathers changes. “I would like to see the culture move to a place where the fathers could be as responsible [as mothers] so it wouldn’t be such an expectation that the mothers have the primary responsibility [for child rearing],” she said.”
Of course, we are also making some slow inroads in Corporate America and in the political arena.
(Data from Women in the Work Force: What changes have we made?)
I don’t even want to get into the recent sexual harassment cases against Bill Cosby, Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes, and now Harvey Weinstein. Not to mention the comments recorded by Trump during his campaign.
These developments should come as no surprise, especially in Hollywood. We’ve heard about the “casting couch” for years and the misuse of power by people for their own personal satisfaction. Recent report by the Huffington Post – 1 in 3 women has been sexually harassed at work.
Action Steps – Same as last post:
-1- tell your story – empower and inspire our children and grandchildren to be their best
-2- support other women
-3- If you see something, say something. (This is not just for kids).
To read more about 1970’s advertising take on women, this article is priceless. Image these ads and stories were being published in magazines and many from the Chicago Tribune:
Yes, we burned bras in protest of inequities for the women’s movement BUT……
Why is the STRUGGLE for equality still on going?
Here are a few notable dates in history – mainly legal actions:
1866 – 14th Amendment – defined that citizen and voters are MALE.
1869 – 1st women suffrage law passed in US in state of Wyoming
1870 – 15th Amendment – Some odd language about discrimination. The text of this amendment says “Women are not specifically excluded from the vote.” What the H does that mean?
1890 – Wyoming became the first state to grant women the right to vote in all elections.
1916 – Margaret Sanger test validity of New York’s anti-contraception law by establishing a clinic in Brooklyn.
1920 – 19th Amendment – 30 years after Wyoming gave the right to vote to women the feds approved this amendment. It declares: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.” Clarity of the obtuse language of the 15th amendment?
1963 – The Equality Pay Act is passed by Congress, promising equitable wages for the same work, regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, or sex. This one is so big. We all know that women still do not earn equal pay. Are we forgetting to cite this amendment? Now 54 years later!
1972 – Title IX – of the Education Amendments prohibits sex discrimination in all aspects of education programs that receive public support. This main change due to this bill opened the door for more funding for sports programs for women. Thankfully, Billie Jean King stepped up and championed the rights for girls not only in the sports arena but other areas of equality. Can’t wait to see the movie – Battle of the Sexes. Her sports match happened in 1973.
The list of other significant dates goes on and on. Below is the link to read more.
For example, June 1978, was the first time in history, working women age 16 and older surpassed 60% and not just nurses, secretaries or teachers. High powered female executives became common place. We always knew we needed to do better than men, to always prove we had value, to constantly demonstrate that we were as good as or better than male workers.
What’s my point with this post? Two things-
-1- Have women really dropped the ball demanding equality in some instances? Is it because fighting for justice is not easy? There are stigmas and often recriminations attached to standing up for what is not only right but is the LAW.
It is time to step up and reengage in the fight for all women.
-2- We can do better not only for ourselves but for our children and grandchildren.
Here are three action steps we can take for women of all ages:
-1- tell your story – empower and inspire our children and grandchildren to be their best
-2- support other women
-3- If you see something, say something. (This is not just for kids).
I definitely look forward to opinions on this piece.
Baby Boomers – here’s the first post from my Then and Now series: MY WAY.
There is a lot of verbiage floating around that we were the ME generation. We wanted to feel better and to have dreams that were actually attainable. We wanted a great life and we wanted work to be FUN. We brought out new energy and ideas.
And luckily for the world, we did it, we believed in ME. Our self-focus contributed to notable advancements I’ll be discussing in the coming weeks.
Also trending is the comment we didn’t live up to our potential. In fact, this theme ranks quite high in internet searches when checking out “baby boomers”. Of course many of these articles are written by millennials so give it the weight it deserves. There can be a lot of conversation around this idea.
We believed in and worked towards:
Idealism – My way meant we had an “I can do anything” attitude.We did a lot but now more than ever, we need to reconnect with our idealism as we make important choices and decisions about how we live in this second phase of life. Do we settle for our fitness level as is or strengthen and build our stamina, eat better, become more active? Do we become isolated or enlarge our friends and associates base? Do we continue to work, retire, or start our own business? Time to relocate, to buy up or downsize?
Is now the time to re-invent ourselves, to chase our dreams or to give up on potential opportunities? What can we do?
Openness to change – If you don’t like something you can change it. Part of the my way attitude. Like many kids we weren’t interested in the way our parents lived. We wanted something new and we were willing to go for it – to change. Future posts will address some of these changes. But for now are we ready to accept the challenge to change again. Life is constantly changing around us so we can choose to adapt or be left behind. Sorry to say as we age there will be many adjustments needed.
Self-empowerment – We began listening to our inner voice. We sought to discover who we were and how we could improve ourselves. This concept is very relevant if we are ready to re-invent ourselves.
Anti-authoritarianism – We became disillusioned with authority. We protested, we sat-in, we challenged the status quo. We all have our own opinions about the current leadership and whether the rhetoric is speaking to and for us. But the reality is, we must set our own course and make our lives work for us. There is no better time to become more vocal and active in the political arena at any level. To make our voices be heard. While AARP does a good job addressing some big issues, it is irresponsible of us to give up our own power. We can fight for what is correct and just.
Has our power been taken away or have we given it away? Either way take some kind of action today. Reclaim and recommit to your power and use it for the betterment of yourself and others. This is a big component in the up and coming ebook entitled “My Way” along with more information and examples on the topic.
Examples of Action Steps:
Look at your senator’s or representative’s website to see what positions they are taking (I just looked at Feinstein’s sight and see there is a link to request a government grant!)
OR search AARP – click the menu bar. There are many resources available. Such as – 10 Best Part-Time Jobs for Post-Retirement.
OR challenge yourself with a personal goal on your procrastination list.
What one goal can you accomplish in the next 30 days?
Here’s what I am up to:
-1- I continue to work on my fitness mainly strength and stamina. In addition to my fitbit steps, 5 days a week I follow a TV yoga shows like Power Yoga or Wai Lana Yoga – all for free and in the comfort of my living room floor.
-2- I am Purging! My house is full of piles everywhere. Some because there is no where to store them, others because of my small pack rat mentality. My challenge is 30 projects in 90 days. I am posting some videos on my business facebook page.
-3- In collaboration with others I’m building a Boomer Movement. The website BayAreaisBooming.com will launch this winter. The focus is to “Lead a Conversation” on aging in the San Francisco / Bay Area. Let’s admit it, we are there. So how do we want to do it??? This is a replicatable model for our regions in the country.
Big challenges but I have an “I can do it Attitude”. What about you?
I’m re-committing to posting a blog every Thursday. I’ve been slacking. Mainly because my analytical brain had a hard time choosing a topic at random. I work best with a list, an outline.
So I’m happy with this next series. 10 -15 posts following the theme – Then and Now.
Topics which represent our attitudes, beliefs and commitment to change, to do things “My Way” from the 1960’s and 1970’s.
What happened then, what did we learn, and how can we use these experience now to live our best lives?
I’m also changing the tone and wording of my posts. I’ll be using more conversational language.
My posts can be humorous, insightful, opinionated, thought provoking, educational and/or challenging. Most will be short reads as I know our time is limited. However, longer ebooks on many topics are in the works.
I’ll do my best to be accurate with facts and use correct grammar and spelling. Please excuse the occasional error.
The first in the series – My Way will arrive next Thursday.
You have to start somewhere. I proposed the first 90 Day Challenge in spring 2017. The first meeting was held at the library on May 23rd. Two other joined me and we each picked our own project. Three difference choices were made.
The other two members were definitely more consistent than me. There results will be revealed soon. I am extremely proud of R and S successes. Committing to a goal, taking action, doing your best and learning from your successes and failures takes courage. The process may be just as important as achieving a perfect result.
My 90 days were really broken down into three 30 day challenges: first -stamina, second – live a dream, third – commit to my own self education with the Entrepreneurs Leadership Academy.
Part one – increase my stamina. It’s really a life-long goal, isn’t it? So I upped my step count on Fitbit to 7,000 / day. I also joined Weight Watchers. I had no idea – according to their program that each pat of butter was 8 points. Obviously I cut that and other high point foods down drastically.
Part two – the dream. I just spent 30 days in Paris, France! A bucket list item for years. One of those big dreams.
The trip could not have been better. I enrolled through City College of San Francisco for a study abroad class along with other 80 class mates. The program included my dorm room, breakfast and classes and about 15 other activities. Plus another 12 things I did with new friends.
By July 30th, I had taken over 1,500 pics (photo journal coming soon) and walked over 340,000 steps. Here on the last day, I went to Versailles. We were so exhausted by then, my friends and I could only manage the palace tour and jitney ride around the grounds.
This is my kind of challenge. While I will always have unfinished projects I’m constantly working on, I’m more interested in making my dreams come true.
Part three is still happening. I’m excited to share what I am learning from the Academy. It is part of my personal 90 Day Challenge Fall series. It will be good.
As many of you know, I lost my mother October 1st, 2016. If you have lost a loved one, you know how the grieving process works. Up, down, in, out, sometimes just getting through the day.
I had just started a new 90 day challenge on Sept. 21st and while I worked on my plan I didn’t have the fortitude to write about my process.
Now the 90 days have concluded and I am happy to report my results.
I realize you may have to squint to read all of my accomplishments, but the details are not that important to you. I am sharing this pic to show how I use a journal to track my activities.
A few of the bigger tasks completed are – (1) I move on 7 boxes or bags of “stuff”, (2) I finally used the NEAT scanner purchased a few years ago and scanned dozens of clients file, enough to fill 2 cartons of papers for shredding, (3) I purchased a new Refrigerator and new Dishwasher, and (4) I continued to sort, organize and move things around to better fit them in my home.
My for my next 90 Challenge, I am repeating last year’s health and fitness goals. In 2016, I had very modest results. The best I can say is while I used my fitbit regularly, I didn’t see much progress. This is shocking to me since my count is 1,850,768 over 50 weeks – Dec 30, 2015 through Jan 02, 2017. I have to admit I was not putting enough effort into my “steps”. So I’ll work on stepping it up this time around. I will keep you posted.
My next 90 Day Challenge has been haunting me for years! I Procrastinate.
Case in point, these are the remaining assets of an estate I was charged with distributing more than 10 YEARS ago. My friend was an avid photographer and left 144 photo albums. Most of them went to a museum who was happy to have them as part of her estate but there were about 20 albums of specific organizations I wanted to get directly to them. I had already passed onto photos to SF Ballet, SF Symphony, SF Stern Grove and a few others. But procrastination set in and the process stalled.
What the heck was my problem, that they are still around. Also I have so much other stuff I am holding onto. For instance, I have over 12 comforters, throws, and blankets for one bed and a sofa bed. It is all too much. The garage is another story all together.
I think about why I procrastinated about sharing the albums and now realize what the reason was. I FEARED that the organization would not want them – Fear of rejection. This is interesting because the work is not even mine.
I have already begun. Last week I took an album to the “San Francisco Exploratorium Museum”. After meeting a third person in the company, she started flipping through the album and with delight pointed to the employee who trained her on the job many years ago. The lesson here is “these albums are treasures” and will hold memories for many.
Today I mail one to the Sacramento Railroad Museum!
So my challenge over these next 90 days is to PURGE. You can follow along on my personal blog and twitter account. This may be the right time for you to PURGE as well.
I am eager to succeed because my reward is to hire a monthly cleaning person! Gotta run. I am joining a three month sailing club at the Berkeley Marina – starts to day.
Congratulations on completing your “90 Day Challenge.”
Even if you did not reach your big goal, if you made any progress, it is a step in the right direction and a great starting point to continue on.
Remember a big component of this challenge was to learn lessons you can carry with you throughout your life. Accepting this challenge to make a change is just the beginning.
We know that any personal development work takes effort and commitment. It’s not easy to do better, to experience more of life, to persevere through tough times, to tap into our true personality and passions, to use our unique talents and skills, to change.
During these 90 Days, we had to believe that we could succeed. We had to set goals, adopt new habits, become fearless, overcome procrastination and ask for the support of our friends and community. This was asking for a lot.
The one lesson I hope you learned is that life is always testing us, throwing us curve balls, mountains to climb, new lessons to learn and we can handle them.
So let’s celebrate and begin anew.
Your choice is simple – to recommit to your current challenge or to choose a different goal.
To help you with your new endeavor, I have written an ebook with the posts written during the summer, including success stories and additional tips and techniques. It is available free for a limited time.
If you are committing to another 90 Day Challenge and want a reference book, please send me an email to request your copy.
