A Boomer's Footprint

Category: A Successful Life

How will you know if you are living with successful? What legacy will
you leave behind? What is important to you?

These posts include many tips and techniques to become the best
person that you can, to fulfill your dreams, to succeed.

  • The changed family dynamics for boomers

    Beginning in the 50’s and 60’s, there was a huge difference between traditional family life and how life was portrayed on some TV shows. Three in particular are: The Donna Reed show, Father Knows Best, and Ozzie and Harriet. These shows were inaccurate and unrealistic story of how most families lived.

    Considering what was available on one of three TV networks, it was no surprise that boomer women were chose a different attitude about marrying and raising a family.  Three big changes happened during the 1970’s.

    First, baby boomers married later, waited longer to have children, had fewer kids. Many chose to have no children. Because of the pill, women had more control of reproductive choices.

    For those that had kids, like all generations before us we wanted more and better things for them.

    Lead by advice from Dr. Spook and others we changed how we would raise children. We looked at the child as a whole being. We wanted more emotional security for them as well.  The happiness of children became front and center. We began to understand the psychology of parenting.

    Second, more women were working full time outside of the home yet our roles as homemaker and housewife were slower to evolve. We were still responsible for many home tasks.

    Eventually with a commitment to our careers, we wanted our spouses to participate more in child rearing.

    Baby boomer dads became more involved in their children’s lives. Even though this was a new role for men, this became a gift in some regards. Fathers became closer to the children.

    Third, these new family dynamics created inevitable strains on both men and women in their relationships. As women were earning money of their own, they became more empowered. It was possible to get a divorce if we wanted to.

    Marriages fell apart under unprecedented challenges. By 1975 the number passed 1,000,000 mark, twice as many divorces as the previous decade. Boomers couldn’t make the marriages work the same way as our parents. But maybe we were happier in some regards.

    An obvious consequence of divorce was the impact on the lives of children. Kids needed to learn to deal with the world at an earlier age.

    For those born in the 1980’s – there were freedoms – with both parents working kids, could roam freely with a bit of money in their pockets. They were entertained by video games and the Walkman. Television became more realistic. And finally doting grandparents who were happy to indulge them and become the guidance for the grandchildren that their parents didn’t want.

    What is the result of this change in lifestyle from the 1970’s for today?

    1 in 3 boomers are unmarried and without children. This doesn’t fare well for support and companionship that is so helpful in “old age”.

    The need for community and an alternative paradigm for aging is more important than ever.

    Exploring new options for aging is the goal of “Bay Area is Booming” – a social and educational community launching this winter in Northern California.  Currently there are monthly live events with relevant topics addressing needs in our area.

    A website coming soon is available for all. We will start with video stories. If you love talking and have good advice for life, please contact me to see if we are a good fit. I would love to see a short 2-3 minutes selfie.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Women in the Work Force – still chasing equality

    We looked so good!There are so many instances of inequity for women in the work force. This is a follow up post to women’s long struggle for equality. Overall, my point is we have to keep speaking out and demanding rights which are legally ours.

    Here are just a few comparisons from the 1970’s until now.

    The number of working women has increased dramatically – from 30.3 mil in 1970 to 72.7 mil during 2006-2010.

    Women made up 37.97% of the work force in 1970 compared to 47.21%, between 2006-2010.

    Occupation options: 1970 women mainly worked as secretaries, bookkeepers, nurses and elementary school teachers.  How great for us between 2006-2010 we could proudly add admin assistants, cashiers and middle school teachers to the most common choices. But good news we are also dominating in the fields of HR managers, social workers, dental assistants and speech pathologists.

    Overall, discrepancies in wages and this occupation segregation continues to be the reality. The most recent numbers show that on average, women earn $0.77 for every dollar earned by men. This may not be true for all women and certainly would depend on sectors and occupations.

    Norma Carr-Ruffino, retired Professor SF State University, asks why are we having the same conversation in 2013 that we had back in the 1970’s.

    “ She noted one aspect of this conversation is that women also must face the work-life balance. We won’t stop having this conversation until our cultural understanding of the role of mothers and fathers changes. “I would like to see the culture move to a place where the fathers could be as responsible [as mothers] so it wouldn’t be such an expectation that the mothers have the primary responsibility [for child rearing],” she said.”

    Of course, we are also making some slow inroads in Corporate America and in the political arena.

    (Data from Women in the Work Force: What changes have we made?)

    I don’t even want to get into the recent sexual harassment cases against Bill Cosby, Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes, and now Harvey Weinstein. Not to mention the comments recorded by Trump during his campaign.

    These developments should come as no surprise, especially in Hollywood. We’ve heard about the “casting couch” for years and the misuse of power by people for their own personal satisfaction.  Recent report by the Huffington Post – 1 in 3 women has been sexually harassed at work.

    Action Steps – Same as last post:

    -1- tell your story – empower and inspire our children and grandchildren to be their best

    -2- support other women

    -3- If you see something, say something. (This is not just for kids).

    To read more about 1970’s advertising take on women, this article is priceless. Image these ads and stories were being published in magazines and many from the Chicago Tribune:

    http://www.womenworklife.com/2014/07/30/work-life-really-like-women-1970s/

     

  • We burned our bras and other accomplishments from the 70’s

    Yes, we burned bras in protest of inequities for the women’s movement  BUT……

    Why is the STRUGGLE for equality still on going?

    Here are a few notable dates in history – mainly legal actions:

    1866 – 14th Amendment – defined that citizen and voters are MALE.

    1869 – 1st women suffrage law passed in US in state of Wyoming

    1870 – 15th Amendment – Some odd language about discrimination. The text of this amendment says “Women are not specifically excluded from the vote.”  What the H does that mean?

    1890 – Wyoming became the first state to grant women the right to vote in all elections.

    1916 – Margaret Sanger test validity of New York’s anti-contraception law by establishing a clinic in Brooklyn.

    1920 – 19th Amendment – 30 years after Wyoming gave the right to vote to women the feds approved this amendment. It declares: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.” Clarity of the obtuse language of the 15th amendment?

    1963 – The Equality Pay Act is passed by Congress, promising equitable wages for the same work, regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, or sex. This one is so big.  We all know that women still do not earn equal pay. Are we forgetting to cite this amendment? Now 54 years later!

    1972 – Title IX – of the Education Amendments prohibits sex discrimination in all aspects of education programs that receive public support.  This main change due to this bill opened the door for more funding for sports programs for women.  Thankfully, Billie Jean King stepped up and championed the rights for girls not only in the sports arena but other areas of equality.  Can’t wait to see the movie – Battle of the Sexes.  Her sports match happened in 1973.

    The list of other significant dates goes on and on.  Below is the link to read more.

    For example, June 1978, was the first time in history, working women age 16 and older surpassed 60% and not just nurses, secretaries or teachers. High powered female executives became common place. We always knew we needed to do better than men, to always prove we had value, to constantly demonstrate that we were as good as or better than male workers.

    What’s my point with this post?  Two things-

    -1- Have women really dropped the ball demanding equality in some instances?  Is it because fighting for justice is not easy?  There are stigmas and often recriminations attached to standing up for what is not only right but is the LAW.

    It is time to step up and reengage in the fight for all women.

    -2- We can do better not only for ourselves but for our children and grandchildren.

    Here are three action steps we can take for women of all ages:

    -1- tell your story – empower and inspire our children and grandchildren to be their best

    -2- support other women

    -3- If you see something, say something. (This is not just for kids).

    I definitely look forward to opinions on this piece.

    This is the source for my dates-

    http://www.nwhp.org/resources/womens-rights-movement/detailed-timeline/

     

  • Me Me Me Me Me Me Me…….

    Let’s Soar.

    Baby Boomers – here’s the first post from my Then and Now series: MY WAY.

    There is a lot of verbiage floating around that we were the ME generation. We wanted to feel better and to have dreams that were actually attainable. We wanted a great life and we wanted work to be FUN. We brought out new energy and ideas.

    And luckily for the world, we did it, we believed in ME.  Our self-focus contributed to notable advancements I’ll be discussing in the coming weeks.

    Also trending is the comment we didn’t live up to our potential.  In fact, this theme ranks quite high in internet searches when checking out “baby boomers”. Of course many of these articles are written by millennials so give it the weight it deserves. There can be a lot of conversation around this idea.

    We believed in and worked towards:

    Idealism – My way meant we had an “I can do anything” attitude.We did a lot but now more than ever, we need to reconnect with our idealism as we make important choices and decisions about how we live in this second phase of life. Do we settle for our fitness level as is or strengthen and build our stamina, eat better, become more active? Do we become isolated or  enlarge our friends and associates base?  Do we continue to work, retire, or start our own business? Time to relocate, to buy up or downsize?

    Is now the time to re-invent ourselves, to chase our dreams or to give up on potential opportunities? What can we do?

    Openness to change – If you don’t like something you can change it. Part of the my way attitude. Like many kids we weren’t interested in the way our parents lived. We wanted something new and we were willing to go for it – to change. Future posts will address some of these changes. But for now are we ready to accept the challenge to change again.  Life is constantly changing around us so we can choose to adapt or be left behind. Sorry to say as we age there will be many adjustments needed.

    Self-empowerment – We began listening to our inner voice. We sought to discover who we were and how we could improve ourselves.  This concept is very relevant if we are ready to re-invent ourselves.

    Anti-authoritarianism – We became disillusioned with authority. We protested, we sat-in, we challenged the status quo. We all have our own opinions about the current leadership and whether the rhetoric is speaking to and for us.  But the reality is, we must set our own course and make our lives work for us.  There is no better time to become more vocal and active in the political arena at any level. To make our voices be heard.  While AARP does a good job addressing some big issues, it is irresponsible of us to give up our own power. We can fight for what is correct and just.

    Has our power been taken away or have we given it away?  Either way take some kind of action today. Reclaim and recommit to your power and use it for the betterment of yourself and others. This is a big component in the up and coming ebook entitled “My Way” along with more information and examples on the topic.

    Examples of Action Steps:

    Look at your senator’s or representative’s website to see what positions they are taking (I just looked at Feinstein’s sight and see there is a link to request a government grant!)

    OR search AARP – click the menu bar. There are many resources available. Such as – 10 Best Part-Time Jobs for Post-Retirement.

    OR challenge yourself with a personal goal on your procrastination list.

    What one goal can you accomplish in the next 30 days?

    Here’s what I am up to:

    -1- I continue to work on my fitness mainly strength and stamina.  In addition to my fitbit steps, 5 days a week I follow a TV yoga shows like Power Yoga or Wai Lana Yoga – all for free and in the comfort of my living room floor.

    -2- I am Purging!  My house is full of piles everywhere.  Some because there is no where to store them, others because of my small pack rat mentality.  My challenge is 30 projects in 90 days.  I am posting some videos on my business facebook page.

    https://www.facebook.com/Dorothy-Kelly-Proud-Boomer-and-Coach-107677419260985/

    -3- In collaboration with others I’m building a Boomer Movement.  The website BayAreaisBooming.com will launch this winter.  The focus is to “Lead a Conversation” on aging in the San Francisco / Bay Area.  Let’s admit it, we are there.  So how do we want to do it??? This is a replicatable model for our regions in the country.

    Big challenges but I have an “I can do it Attitude”.  What about you?

     

  • Then and Now – using our past to shape our future

    I’m re-committing to posting a blog every Thursday.  I’ve been slacking.  Mainly because my analytical brain had a hard time choosing a topic at random. I work best with a list, an outline.

    So I’m happy with this next series. 10 -15 posts following the theme – Then and Now.

    Topics which represent our attitudes, beliefs and commitment to change, to do things “My Way” from the 1960’s and 1970’s.

    What happened then, what did we learn, and how can we use these experience now to live our best lives?

    I’m also changing the tone and wording of my posts.  I’ll be using more conversational language.

    My posts can be humorous, insightful, opinionated, thought provoking, educational and/or challenging. Most will be short reads as I know our time is limited.  However, longer ebooks on many topics are in the works.

    I’ll do my best to be accurate with facts and use correct grammar and spelling.  Please excuse the occasional error.

    The first in the series – My Way will arrive next Thursday.

    Good luck on your life’s journey,
    Dorothy Kelly

  • Spring 90 Day Challenge Results

    You have to start somewhere.  I proposed the first 90 Day Challenge in spring 2017. The first meeting was held at the library on May 23rd.  Two other joined me and we each picked our own project. Three difference choices were made.

    The other two members were definitely more consistent than me. There results will be revealed soon.  I am extremely proud of R and S successes. Committing to a goal, taking action, doing your best and learning from your successes and failures takes courage. The process may be just as important as achieving a perfect result.

    My 90 days were really broken down into three 30 day challenges: first -stamina, second – live a dream, third – commit to my own self education with the Entrepreneurs Leadership Academy.

    Part one – increase my stamina.  It’s really a life-long goal, isn’t it? So I upped my step count on Fitbit to 7,000 / day. I also joined Weight Watchers. I had no idea – according to their program that each pat of butter was 8 points. Obviously I cut that and other high point foods down drastically.

    Part two – the dream. I just spent 30 days in Paris, France! A bucket list item for years. One of those big dreams.

    The trip could not have been better. I enrolled through City College of San Francisco for a study abroad class along with other 80 class mates. The program included my dorm room, breakfast and classes and about 15 other activities. Plus another 12 things I did with new friends.

    By July 30th, I had taken over 1,500 pics (photo journal coming soon) and walked over 340,000 steps. Here on the last day, I went to Versailles. We were so exhausted by then, my friends and I could only manage the palace tour and jitney ride around the grounds.

    This is my kind of challenge. While I will always have unfinished projects I’m constantly working on, I’m more interested in making my dreams come true.

    Part three is still happening.  I’m excited to share what I am learning from the Academy. It is part of my personal 90 Day Challenge Fall series. It will be good.

     

  • 60 Day Check In

    mind-spiritTime flies even if you‘re not having fun. You know being “challenged.” But you can succeed with a “that’s the spirit” attitude.

    60 days done, 30 more to go. Perfect time for a mini evaluation.

    Do you have one of these three results so far?

    -1- Definitely on Track and will meet your challenge. Nothing need be said. Finish strong. You may even choose to step it up and surpass your goal. Share your strategy with us.

    -2- Average Results to date. You made progress but probably won’t hit your target.   Perfectly acceptable. Keep working and Finish strong. You can readjust your goal so in the end you will achieve a success by the end of the challenge.

    -3- Whoa, what happened? You are so far off track, you’re embarrassed. But don’t be ashamed, totally discouraged or fall into serious negative self talk. None of these attitudes or  beliefs will help you succeed during the next 30 days or your next challenge.

    Take time to figure out where you went wrong. This is definitely a journal opportunity, if you can even find it.

    First, make a list of ALL the reasons you got off track, for instance time management, lack of motivation, wrong choice, etc. Remember if you don’t know what’s broke you can’t fix it.

    Is there a common denominator in your lack of progress?

    Did you choose too big a goal?

    Did you choose the wrong challenge?

    Were you unrealistic in your goal considering what else was happening in your life this summer?

    There is always something to learn from failures? What is yours?

    The important thing now is to simply “Begin Again.”

    Reset a more manageable “30 day goal“. Don’t quit on yourself. Identify one thing you will do every day for the next 30 days.

    The 10 minute a day process is a great technique to use. Surely you can commit to 10 minutes a day to adopt a new habit or eliminate an old one.

    This is a chance for a new beginning. Will you accept the challenge?

     

     

     

     

     

  • Procrastination

    stock-photo-retro-effect-and-toned-image-of-a-woman-hand-writing-on-a-notebook-handwritten-quote-399696850

    This is a tough obstacle to overcome!

    Procrastination is “the act of replacing more urgent actions with tasks less urgent, or doing something from which one derives enjoyment, thus putting off impending tasks to later time”. (wikipedia) So while we can’t argue with the desire to seek enjoyment, leaving tasks undone does not make them go away and can actually add more pressure or anxiety into the mix.

    This is something I know about first hand.  My schedule is to post every Thursday.  I can usually find an excuse why I can’t or won’t. When I procrastinate on this task, I feel I’m not keeping my word, letting down my readers and I lessen the importance on my commitment to you. My usual hang up is finding an appropriate photo for the message. As you can see this week I didn’t even crop the pic like I often try to do. At my procrastination moments I say, Dorothy, get writing. And I DO. Hence today’s post.

    There may be small upside to procrastinating. Sometimes while pondering a problem or task, we come up with a solution or more effective way to accomplish it.  But overall, the negatives far out weigh this possibility.

    Why do we procrastinate:

    We don’t love doing the activity

    FEAR – we want to avoid the unfamiliar

    We are not competent to do the task

    We underestimate the time frame the task requires

    We believe we must be in right mood to do the task

    We are unorganized

    We believe we need the task to be perfect

    We don’t see the reward by completing the task

    Here’s a quick tool to overcome procrastination: Start by doing something that gives you a sense of accomplishment.  Choose a small step that can happen in 10-15 minutes. And get it done.

    When you complete your goal, pay attention to how you feel.  Is there an improvement in your mood?

    Reward yourself for achieving a success. Make a list of the daily  accomplishments in a journal. It helps us focus on how many things we DO.  Read through it daily, smile as you recall success.

  • Become fearless

    fears-

     

     

    Check out this image.  I didn’t know there were so many things I could fear.

     

     

     

    Our fears do not develop overnight.  We’ve had a lifetime of experiences and actions which may have created them.

    The good news is that overcoming a fear is a skill which can be learned at any time. The challenge is to decide if NOW is the time you are ready to face one of them.

    Here are five beginner steps to use. I say beginner steps because change is a process.  These five steps are a quick and easy method. A technique you could use for a “smaller fear” to have an experience and then a positive outcome. You may need additional information or to seek specific help to guide you.

    -1- Become aware – Recognize the control that your fears are creating in your life.

    -2- Identify exactly WHAT you are afraid of. Using your journal – use the two column method for this exercise. Column one – what is the best outcome and the benefits I can have if I try this activity?  Column two – what is the worst that can happen if I give it a go? Choose one fear per page.

    -3- Understand that fears are just fears.  They are created by our imagination.  Perhaps because of an actual prior experience which didn’t go well.

    -4- Take action – Decide that you are ready to overcome one fear.  Take action and do this scary thing.

    (If you watch any of the TV weight loss reality shows, the trainers demonstrate how HARD and yet possible it is to dig deep, be honest with ourselves, accept responsibility for our actions and use our strength and new found courage to overcome our biggest obstacles. With fall coming I’m sure one of these programs will be on.  You could watch one and follow along for inspiration.)

    -5- Review – How good or bad did you do?  Return to your journal and compare your outcome with your two columns of the best and worst outcomes. Then add this additional information.  What did I learn?  What can I do to improve? What should I change in the future?

    Get going. Time is a wasting.

     

  • Overcoming obstacles

    YOU ARE your biggest obstacle!

    If you are having trouble with follow through and motivation, don’t worry it may not be your fault. Discover why……

    We have been battling or even ignoring obstacles over our lifetime already. We may not realize we are doing it or how debilitating this is.

    If your response in the past has been to quit when the going gets tough, now – this challenge – is a great opportunity to face at least one of your obstacles.

    There are so many obstacles:

    There are personal obstacles. Some of them are: psychological, behavioral or just our state of mind.

    There are social obstacles, including: people who can be uncooperative or even sabotage you, shame you, bully you (even adults do this), put you down, or impose their own insecurities onto you.

    There are environmental obstacles. Some are: unexpected occurrences, circumstances and instances over which we have no control.

    Not to mention: bad habits, time management, organization, preparedness, fears, excuses, procrastination, inexperience and negative thoughts and energy.

    To get started – recognize and admit what is standing in your way.

    This is a journal exercise. Make a list of EVERY obstacle you own up to. (This may take more than one sitting.)  Every time another occurs to you, add it to the list.  While the process may feel overwhelming and negative in its own right, admitting what is standing in your way is the first step to change. We may even see a pattern of thoughts and behaviors emerge. Then we will know where to begin.

    For the rest of this challenge, I will be writing about obstacles. Remember an extra benefit of achieving this “90 Day Challenge” is to create good habits, experience and self confidence that lasts a lifetime.